Transparency and Distended Bellies

We're coming up on our fourth weigh in (not counting the starting) and I'm excited and nervous about my results.

I've been continuing with the squat challenge and have increased to the point where I can do 100 squats in a sitting. Sure my legs are shaking and I can't walk confidently for a while afterwards but progress is progress. Just yesterday I managed to do 260 in a night which I believe is my current record! Speaking of squats, I've started developing some silly habits when it comes to them. I play a lot of video games and when I get to a particularly long loading screen, or a long que to enter a dungeon I've started grinding out some squats while I wait. I can only imagine how silly I look, holding a controller in my hands and squatting repeatedly while staring at the T.V. But it doesn't stop there. The other day I was showering before bed and realized that I hadn't met my squat challenge quota for the night. Instead of finishing, towelling off, finding a spot and cranking out some squats before bed I just stood there in the shower brushing my teeth and squatted under the spray. Now that's multitasking!

It hasn't been all good this week though. Earlier we had a potluck in my department for someone's birthday and there was so much delicious food that I couldn't help but go over my calorie limit for the day. I know it's fine to have a sort of cheat day every now and again but the following day we had the same thing. Two days in a row of overeating and boy was I feeling it. On the plus stuffing myself those two days in a row made me realize something. I've been steadily decreasing my meal size and I feel that by now I've gotten to the point where my meals are close to what the average person should be eating. On those two days I ate what several months ago would have been perfectly normal meals for me. The sheer contrast in meal size really drove home the point that I was eating way more than I needed to. On both days I not only ate my fill, but stuffed my stomach to bursting. This is what pre-2016 Me thought it meant to be full. Growing up I had just thought that that bursting almost queasy feeling was what people were talking about when they said they were full.

When it comes to this month's challenge in my company's weight loss challenge I think that we had all given up any thoughts of winning once we saw the statistics for week one. The top team for the week had more than doubled our second place position. This was a bit of a disappointment for my whole team and I know a lot of people pulled back or gave up entirely but I was happy to see that most of my team were still soldiering on with a focus on weight loss instead of winning the challenge. People were sending challenges back and forth and even though our numbers did dip, the change was only small and we were still grinding out some pretty big numbers. Another surprise I was happy to see was that I wasn't even the top person on my team numbers wise. I had figured that as soon as those intimidating numbers were shared that my team would lose it's motivation and I would be the only one logging any numbers but no, I wasn't even the top person on my team! Some people did fall off and stopped entering numbers but at least two people in my team are out producing me. Go team green!

I've also come to a decision with regard to my weight. I'm by no means a shy person but I've decided that I'm really going to be open with the numbers on my weight. I've danced around it saying things like I weigh a lot, or I've lost a little but I want to be 100% transparent. I started this competition at 336.2 lbs and as of our last weigh in I am down to 319 even. My goal weight which according to the math of my calorie counting ap I should reach in a little over 500 days of good behaviour is 186 lbs. I found this number by consulting google to find out what my healthy weight would be according to my height and age. There were several different weights according to a few different formulas and I may have picked the largest number but as a longterm goal I thought it was a good place to start. Also it ends in 86 and I just plain like that number.

I've also noticed a few things in the past few weeks both good and bad. First off, I've begun to fall off with my calorie counting. The counting feels less necessary to me now that I'm sort of on track with meal size as well as cutting back snacks but I know I have to tighten that back up in order to keep from straying. As a reminder I've started setting the connected website as my homepage so every time I use the internet I still get a reminder to enter my food. I've also been ignoring the gym recently. After a painful introduction to lunges which it took me a few days to recover from I took some time off from the gym and have been putting it off far too often. I've caught myself justifying my actions by saying "oh I'm still doing my squats every night, I don't need the gym too," or something along those lines but I need to nip this in the bud before I drop the activity entirely. Speaking of nipping things in the bud, I've also noticed that I was beginning to develop a habit of grabbing a large breakfast from the cafeteria at work. Just like with the gym I always had a justification of "my lunch is small today so I'll have a big breakfast." The moment I realized I was doing this I stopped it entirely. That was just too tempting and I knew it would become a permanent thing if I didn't stop it immediately. On to more positive things, I've noticed that some of my clothing has been feeling loser. At the time of writing this I'm currently wearing a shirt that was almost embarrassing since the pulling of the buttons would create lines on my stomach as the shirt pulled tight. It now fits me almost as good as any other shirt in my wardrobe. This brought me to another goal I will be adding to my list. I have one specific shirt which used to be my favourite unfortunately I haven't been able to wear it in several years. This red silk dragon covered piece of clothing is straight out of the 90s but god did I ever love it. My newest goal is to be able to one day wear it like I used to in college.

What I've learned:
Stop bad habits the moment you notice them. That egg sandwich might be nice to tide you over this morning but before long a big fast food breakfast could become part of your daily routine. Learn to notice these signs and put a stop to them!
My meals have gotten much smaller in the past few months. Those two days of putting up with a grossly distended belly have just reaffirmed that I'm making positive changes in my life and need to keep it up!

#WeightLossJourney

Disappointment Management

Second weigh in is in the books and I'm a little disappointed in my results. My previous weigh in showed that I lost 9.3 lbs in 2 weeks and I know that was probably a bit too high so I was aiming a bit lower and hoping for 7 lbs. Unfortunately when I stepped on the scales I saw I had only lost 2.8 lbs though. I know, I know, I should be happy with any progress no matter how small but it was a bit of a disappointment to go from 9 to 3 so quickly.

I allowed myself to sit and wallow in disappointment for a while just to get it out of my system. I feel it's important to let those feelings out rather than bottle them up and try to put on a happy face. After feeling as though I had spent enough time on it I then started making plans for the next weigh in. First, I decided that I was eating too many cookies and my morning snack had to go, Bam. Next up was my coffee. I had been planning to try to drink it black, and since I didn't particularly like the taste to begin with no milk and sugar didn't seem like a huge stretch, Bam. Third I decided to tackle the stairs. I wanted to start taking the stairs but the people I usually go on break with don't have the same goals so we always took the elevator. I made a new friend who I could take the stairs with every day and now the stairs are part of my morning routine, Bam. Goals in hand I started feeling motivated instead of disappointed.

With the weigh in came news of this month's challenge which would net the winning team a few lbs off of their totals giving them a better chance at the competition. The announcement wasn't exactly… well received… by most of the competitors though. At first it was telling us that we had to complete a minimum amount of 5 different exercises and the first team to complete them all would be the winners. The amounts were about what someone in training for an upcoming event would maintain so they were all pretty lofty goals. That combined with the fact that some of the people in the competition were overweight and had joint issues led to some unhappy campers. Burpees are torture and should not imposed on people you like. After receiving some emails they changed the competition to whatever team had the highest total number of exercises at the end of the month would be the winners.

Once the announcement was accepted and circulated my team went into full on motivation mode sharing tips and issuing friendly challenges. One woman shared a squat challenge as something to aim for since squats were one of the counted exercises. I in turn challenged her to double up on so we could both really flex out some high numbers. The team aspect of this competition has been a huge help for me. Having a group with similar goals where you can offer help or a friendly push is so helpful when you're feeling under motivated. I have them to thank for a lot of my progress both personally and in the competition.

What I've learned.
Be careful when you set your goals. Goals are necessary and are a big help when you're trying to achieve something but beware of setting too high of a goal. The backlash of not achieving a goal can sometimes set you back further.
When you do feel disappointed make sure to embrace that feeling. Don't push it off because it won't go away. Let yourself feel it then think about improvements you can make. Use it to fuel a positive change and that disappointment might wind up helping!
Teamwork, teamwork, teamwork! Find a group that has the same goals in mind. You can play off of each other and the energy from a good team can be super helpful in your #weightlossjourney!

Snacks and first weighin

Late update incoming!

Two weeks down and my first weigh in has come and gone. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I had lost 9.3 lbs!

It's hard to pick out any one thing to attribute my success so far to but if I had to pick my top reason I would say it would be my calorie counting. Counting calories has really made me evaluate what I eat and has made me realize that so many of my meals were far bigger than they needed to be. It also helped with snacking because I would look at my calories and think hmm, if I only need these many calories and I'm already at my limit, am I actually hungry? Most often the answer is no but for the few times that it isn't I have some small snacks to satisfy those little cravings.

I've also changed the way I buy food as well. Instead of buying one large item and getting a good deal I've instead been buying a greater number of smaller items. I know that I wind up spending more this way but I also know myself and that my own lack of self control would cause me to eat the entire stash. But, if I buy smaller portions I can eat a single grab a single portion, walk away, and then the cravings are easier to control.

Some people reading this have pointed out that counting calories doesn't mean you're eating better. You could eat nothing but pizza in small amounts and theoretically stay under your calorie limit but a diet of pizza alone would be extremely unhealthy. These people are 100% right and this is by no means a diet guide. This is my own personal experience and I visited a doctor to learn if there was anything I should be watching out for. In my case it was the sheer number of calories that was the greatest danger so that is my starting focus. Once that is under control I can work on other parts of my diet like lowering my salt intake for example.

I suppose the number one take way from this should be that before starting any changes in your diet you should visit a doctor to see if there's anything you need to keep an eye out for. Assuming that you're in the same situation as me and weight alone is your biggest hurdle then counting calories is the way to go!

What I've learned:
-Buy a greater number of smaller items to help fight snacking.
-My body sometimes snacks out of habit, keep an eye on those calories to know if your body needs the food or not.

#weightlossjourney

Weight Loss Week One

Week one is down and I'm feeling super motivated!

Calorie counting has been a great help. I can't count the number of times where the simple activity of finding out how much that extra food would cost me then entering it into the ap on my phone has made me turn down seconds, or skip a section of the meal I know is particularly calorie laden. Just yesterday I was eating a chicken cesar salad and was surprised at how many calories are in one. The meal was also served with garlic bread which I love but as I sat and stared at it (guessing at how many calories it might contain) I realized I wasn't hungry to the point that I needed it. In fact, I saved some of the salad and the garlic bread for my girlfriend to have for lunch the next day!

Counting calories hasn't been my only hobby though, I've also started adding some cardio to my weekly routine. Cardio has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember. It was something everyone had to do and since I was overweight, I had to do even more. For a while I managed to assuage my guilt over skipping cardio by doing weight lifting instead. Where cardio was boring, weight lifting was fun. Where cardio was long, weight lifting was quick. Where cardio seemed to do nothing short term, weight lifting gave noticeable results almost weekly. Now as I look back at my previous experience with cardio I realize that most of my issues stemmed from a lack of motivation and giving up too early.

I want to be healthy and make a change. I'm surrounding myself with positive people and activities while also putting an end to all the half truths or trades I've been doing with myself.

Speaking of activities, the company I work at is having a biggest loser competition! While I don't know much about the t.v. show this friendly competition is different. Anyone who was interested reported for weigh ins where their weight was kept 100% private. Then the keeper of the weights divided all the participants up into six teams. Each team has three months to lose weight and at the end one team will be picked as the victors! Being placed in a team is surprisingly motivational. I hadn't realized how much it would help to have people to talk to about the same issues I'm having. We've been swapping tips, issuing challenges, joking around, but most of all, motivating each other! You're not just exercising for you, you're working for the whole team. You won't just hurt yourself by eating that chocolate bar, you're affect the team. While that second one may seem a bit negative, sometimes that little extra thought has been enough to stop me from doing something I really shouldn't have.

All in all, this week has been an amazing one and I look forward to my team's first official weigh in next week!

What I've learned
Overestimate your food's calories and underestimate the ones you've burned. Nobody's perfect so we will all forget to enter food sometimes. It could be as small as big as an entire meal, or as small as the dipping sauce. Overestimating your calories can counteract those mistakes and even if you don't miss anything you'll be pleasantly surprised in the end.

Being part of a team rocks! From motivation to tips an advice, having a group of supportive people is enormously helpful. I know I've gushed about it already but I can't recommend it enough for anyone out there trying to lose weight

#weightlossjourney

Weight Loss Journey

I've decided to start documenting my weight loss plans for 2016.

Previously I hadn't really taken it seriously. Sure, I went to the gym and everything but I never really committed to losing weight, just growing muscle and looking manly. In my head I thought that growing muscle was just as good since it would help me in the long run and while that isn't a necessarily a lie, I know now that it was a cop out so I wouldn't force myself to commit to the real cardio I truly needed (and hated) to do. Now I'm stopping my muscle focus and switching almost entirely to aerobic.

This isn't just some new years resolution either. I am overweight and need to make some changes in my life if I want to live long enough to retire. It's a serious issue I've danced around for long enough and now I need to fully commit to making a change. My hope is that by documenting the process I will be encouraged (or maybe guilted) into continuing.

Here are the tools I have at my disposal:
The Lose it ap for iPhone. I'm counting my calories being as honest as possible so I can't just splurge and eat an entire cake or something. This should give me a good idea of what I should and shouldn't eat.
The gym at work. In the same vein as doing weights instead of cardio, I also told myself that doing cardio over lunch would cause me to smell bad all day at work. Now I'm not letting that continue and am taking an extra ten minutes out of my lunch so I'll have the time to shower and change. No more excuses!
An irish gal with a temper. My girlfriend has been after me not to eat too much and I've tried to sneak around her to get the food I've wanted. I'm officially asking for her help and want her to give me the tough love I'll need. One thing if you're reading this though, I refuse to give up pizza cold turkey! But I will instead go for an extra walk with you to make up for the splurging <3 br="">
Here's what I've learned:
Oh wow bread buns are bad for calories. 300 for a single little fluff that barely tastes like anything? That's the first thing that needs to go!
I put way too much milk and sugar in my coffee. I didn't realize that with enough of those, my coffee could be as much calories as an entire meal!

Here's to a productive 2016, good luck everyone! #weightlossjourney

Bus Karma

Have you ever experienced the joys of bus Karma? Bus Karma is the rare event when someone is rewarded for positive behaviour or punished for negative behaviour… all while enjoying the use of public transit.

It's a theory I've been working on for quite some time now. I'm a huge fan of the concept of Karma and a firm believer in it. I don't believe that there is some cosmic force ruining people's day because they stole someone's digimon cards when they were six, or high-fiving people who shared their last donut. I do however, believe that if you are an all around shitty person, bad things will happen to you. Just like if you're a generally nice person, good things tend to happen.

Let's take a real world example. Someone who's rude all day long should expect the cop who pulled him over to give him the full fine instead of a warning when he cracks a particularly offensive joke. Conversely the nice guy helped his friends move might be surprised when that same friend takes him out to lunch to say thanks.

Bus karma is this same idea, just applied to public transit. That little old lady who got onto the packed bus could probably use your seat, why not offer it to her? Suddenly your favourite spot opens up and you get to sit with a perfect view. That jerk who bumped into a stroller without apologizing as he hurried to get that open seat? I bet he doesn't realize it's open because someone spilled coffee there.

In the end it might just be my naivety only making me remember the good times while forgetting the times when I did something good without anything good happening in return, but if that same thought process makes me happy at the end of the day then maybe that was in fact my reward.

Robocraft

I haven't written anything in a while and as much as I'd like to say I've been busy with work, or helping my fiancé with university or working on my children's story, I can't lie to you. In reality I've been spending every spare moment on a new game… Robocraft.

When I say every spare moment, I mean it. When I'm not playing it, I'm building vehicles in it. When I'm not building vehicles, I'm watching YouTubers for inspiration. When I'm not watching YouTube, I'm trolling the forums.

For god sakes don't play this game! Save yourselves! Get out while you can!

In Robocraft you build an almost Minecraft style vehicle like a tank, car, plane, or anything under the sun, strap guns to it, and kill your friends in the traditional team death match format.

As you play you earn experience and RP. Experience increases the level of your account, unlocking more and more parts for you to use, while RP is used to buy these new parts. A micro transaction system can be used to buy Galaxy Cash, or GC for short to buy up these parts much faster. Or you can use this GC to purchase premium days where you're given double rewards every match while also giving anyone participating an extra 5% reward. A nice little bonus for anyone playing 100% free.

With the inclusion of mech style walking legs my absorption into the game had become complete as I created bot after bot with those parts, trundling my way into battle.

You can find Robocraft online at RobocraftGame.com or in the Steam Store but if you like having free time, relationships, or a proper sleep schedule, keep your distance!